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The MTV Movie Awards- a Recap in Haiku Form

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Brilliant idea!

When your new movie sucks balls,

Promote an old one.




Xenu gives them some sweet moves-

Price? Their sanity.


‘Twilight’ won it all.

MTV loves teenage girls-

its only viewer.


This kiss was awkward.

Vanessa- was it Zac’s beard,

or that you’re his beard?


Snoop is desperate.

He’s on a white girl’s pop track-

and no pot lyrics!


Oh, hi, Jesse James!

MTV made up a prize-

just because you suck.


Yay- Leslie Chow won!

Toot-a-loo, mother fuckers!

Now- where is his purse?


Draco Malfoy won,

So Marky Mark heckled him.

Am I on acid?


Forget Lucius,

Draco Malfoy’s true bully?

Mid-air Will Ferrell.



Hey, I’m bionic!

My throne is wrapped in duct tape,

but I’m still fierce- right?


 ‘Twilight’ ends the night.

The cast shouts “fuck” a lot.

And I did as well.













About malkatz

I'm an aspiring comedy writer living in New Jersey. Please hire me.

One response »

  1. This was an AWESOME idea. I loved it probably a little more than actually watching the show, and for sure, much more than I should have, judging by the stares of my roommates.


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