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New Slang Terms I Think Should Happen

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Here are words I made up. Call me Gretchen Wieners, but I think they should be new slang. These are all terms I came up with a while ago. I will post a sequel post as I remember, or come up with, more.

Aftersplash (Noun.) When you pee, and then poop… only to have the need to pee again immediately after. “Sorry I took so long, man… I had some aftersplash.”

Fauxmosexual (Adjective or noun.) Someone who, for whatever reason, is pretending to be gay. “No self-respecting gay man would wear gold spandex without irony. He must be a fauxmosexual.”

Jewty (Noun.) Jewish duty- usually something someone does not want to do, but feels obligated to, because they are Jewish. This also applies to someone doing things, or agreeing to do things, because someone else feels it is their obligation. “No, I can’t hang out, because, apparently, it is my Jewty to sell raffle tickets for the Hannukah fair all day.”   

Shebrew (Noun.) A female Jew. “Natalie Portman is my favorite of all the Shebrews.”

Thinny (Noun.) Someone who is in between simply being thin and being skinny. “Stacy needs to gain three pounds- she’s thinny now.”


About malkatz

I'm an aspiring comedy writer living in New Jersey. Please hire me.

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