As you know, I am a fan of The Bloodhound Gang. As you also know, I am a fan of imitating other peoples’ writing styles. So, today, with my extensive, bordering on creepy knowledge of the Bloodhound Gang, I present to you a verse from “There’s a First Time for Everything,” the Bloodhound Gang’s new, never-to-be-released single, about… well, you’ll see. Jimmy Pop, if you’re reading this, I’m single and I have DDs. Call me.
Well, they call me Jimmy Pop, and I’m gonna pop your cherry
Yes, I’m gonna make your day just like in Dirty Harry,
‘Cause the only girls with cherries should be in casinos,
or be in Walmart after dark, or look like Al Pacino
Yes, I’m gonna take it all, just like Bernie Madoff
What you’re wearing is a rocket, and it’s time for take off
And I’m gonna make you spill, just like BP oil
Gonna make you feel so dirty, you will think you’re soil
Chorus: There’s a first time for everything, and now’s your time. This will be the first time for your thing, yeah, last week was mine.