Disclaimer to male readers/those not familar with Sex and the City: I apologize. Please ignore this post, and expect more relatable comedy in the near future.
Disclaimer to all rabid SATC fans: If I hadn’t watched a billion episodes, I wouldn’t be able to be so irritated by these things. In other words, consider me one of you. Sort of.
These are in no particular order.
1. “Say, Aren’t You Carrie Bradshaw?”
Throughout the series, and in one of the movies, people have looked at Carrie and recognized her, and they all have been psyched to meet her. Really?
Carrie is a columnist for the New York Star, not the New York Times- and, even so, have you ever stopped to look at who’s writing the article you read? You might have glanced, but would you recognize them on the street? Furthermore, if you did, would you actually approach them? Even if, somehow, you answered “yes” to all of the following, would you actually be excited?
I recall Carrie once saying that her column is on “the page next to the Viagra ads” (or something similar.)
So- you have a trashy column in a trashy paper about one girl’s social life. She branched out into books, but what publicity does the average book get? Do you really buy this woman has fangirls? Which leads us to…
2. Carrie is a Mary Sue
Do I need to elaborate on this?
Carrie Bradshaw is elegant. She is in head-to-toe designer clothing, despite being, y’know, a columnist who can’t afford an apartment. Everyone finds Carrie charming. Everyone thinks Carrie is funny. Every man Carrie wants is attracted to her. When Carrie has a crisis, all the other characters completely put their lives on pause for her.
No one is ever mad at Carrie. No one ever faults Carrie for her actions- and when they do, she still gets her way (see: Aidan after she cheats on him with Big.) Carrie has overreacted about a million things, but has anyone ever stopped her and said “hey, Carrie, you’re overreacting?” No. It’s always “ugh, girl, I hear you. You are so right to be upset about getting a new computer.” Carrie has also interrupted other people so much I have literally adopted the term “Carrie Bradshaw” as a verb.
Carrie Bradshaw: v. To interrupt people talking about their problems, only to tell them your less important problems.
But does anyone care? Is Carrie ever forced to confront these issues, or forced to have a character arc? Has Carrie Bradshaw ever changed?
But the audience isn’t supposed to care, because the characters don’t care… because Carrie is a Mary Sue.
(To further prove my point… Carrie Bradshaw and Candace Bushnell share the same initials. Take any one of the Mary Sue litmus tests, and the very first item will ask if the character is in any way named after the author.)
3. “This is Totally Going in my Column!”
This is a simple question: why don’t any of Carrie’s friends or acquaintances care that she spills their innermost secrets, personal lives and sexual philosophies in her column? She doesn’t even bother changing the names!
4. Why, Miranda, Why?
Why does Miranda even hang out with these girls?
Let’s look at the facts:
1. They are three complete and total charictures. We have: the total nympho, Polly Prissypants, and the neurotic one. Sure, Miranda has been guilty of cynicism on a Janeane Garafolo level, but she is also someone who is, by most accounts, normal. She doesn’t live in la-la land or get preoccupied with a new man every episode. She is… a realistic portrayal of a New York woman.
2. Is she even compatible with the others? She is an extremely left-brained lawyer with an average sex drive, relatively drama-free existence and a moderate hunger for glamour. Carrie, Samantha and Charlotte all work in the arts and entertainment industry, have a constant need to be complaining or sharing details of their oh-so-dramatic and glamourous lives and feel empty without a man (in more ways than one.)
3. Do the girls even care about Miranda? Other than the episode with Miranda’s mother’s funeral, have you ever seen the girls team for Miranda’s benefit? Have her problems dujour ever been the priority of an episode?
Maybe Miranda is just people-watching… maybe she is secretly extremely amused by the girls’ total lack of a third dimension, and that is why she spends her time with them. Maybe every brunch is Miranda’s own version of Dinner With Shmucks.
This makes me wonder: what would SATC be like from Miranda’s point of view. I imagine it would be much like Will & Grace: slightly neurotic and cynical redhead as the lead, impossibly campy supporting characters for comedic effect. Hmmm… I sense a post coming up (“If Miranda Were the Star of Sex and the City…”)
And… last, but not least…
5. Mr. Big < Aidan