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Part 1: Four Crazy Fan Theories (That I Just Made Up)

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Ever read the “Cameron is Crazy” theory devised by fans of Ferris Bueller?

 If not, do so immediately. (TL;DR? This theory says that Ferris is a figment of Cameron’s imagination- one that he invented  to use as an excuse to rebel, a foil of his personalty, an embodiment of his fantasies, and, finally, a lesson about being a pushover.)

In this vein, I decided to have my own fun and make up some fan theories myself. Read on…

DISCLAIMER FOR THE EASILY BUTTHURT: I am not presenting these as legitimate.

DISCLAIMER FOR THE EASILY CONVINCED: You may not be able to look at these works the same way again.



Theory: It is all in Ron’s mind.


A troubled young man.


How it works: 

In the 1980s, a lonely young city boy named Ron Weasley was admitted into a mental hospital. Ron was a danger to himself and others due to his low self-esteem and delusions about magic.

While in the ward, with no friends to visit him, Ron semi-intentionally invents an alternate life for himself- one in which there is magic, adventure, and an accepting community for him.

  • Ron re-imagines himself in this world– he is disadvantaged due to a lack of finances, but rich in life. He is a pureblood wizard- although he may not care either way, this is something many wizards consider to be the absolute cream of the crop. Ron has a very large, very loving family in this world. Ron is very social and outgoing, and hardly anyone dislikes him. 


  •  Ron creates Harry Potter– a sweet, generic boy his age, who befriends Ron automatically. Harry is famous, which makes many of the wizards jealous  of Ron for being his friend. Harry is also very prone to getting into trouble and adventures, in which Ron is heavily involved.


  • Ron also creates Hermione Granger- a love interest, who also serves to inform Ron and Harry about the world they live in.


Fanboy protest:

 “Why would Ron create someone more successful and famous than he is?”/”Why would he make himself poor?”/”Why wouldn’t he end up with Hermione earlier on in the series?”

  • A: Ron suffers from low self-esteem. He believes any reward he gets needs to be earned, because he does not feel he deserves them.



  • Since the Harry Potter universe is entirely nonsense, the fact someone (other than J.K. Rowling) made it up is entirely plausible.


  • Ron gains: confirmation that his delusions of wizardry are real, a best friend and love interest, and a purpose to his sedentary life.


  • Harry is a total Mary Sue, which further explains why Ron would invent him as a best friend.


PART ONE OF A SERIES! Please comment with your thoughts.


About malkatz

I'm an aspiring comedy writer living in New Jersey. Please hire me.

2 responses »

  1. It is not the spoon that bends

    Ummm, you’re on the right track, but ima pretty sure that it was all in Harry’s mind. He invented the unlikely fantasy of an unemployed single mother who created a journalistic empire based on the story of his fictional life as a heroic boy wizard.


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