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Part 2: Four Crazy Fan Theories (That I Just Made Up)

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Ever read the “Cameron is Crazy” theory devised by fans of Ferris Bueller?

If not, do so immediately. (TL;DR? This theory says that Ferris is a figment of Cameron’s imagination- one that he invented to use as an excuse to rebel, a foil of his personalty, an embodiment of his fantasies, and, finally, a lesson about being a pushover.)

In this vein, I decided to have my own fun and make up some fan theories myself. Read on…

DISCLAIMER FOR THE EASILY BUTTHURT: I am not presenting these as legitimate.

DISCLAIMER FOR THE EASILY CONVINCED: You may not be able to look at these works the same way again.




Theory: The entire movie is Rotti’s plan.

Rotti plots.



Reality begins with “Happiness is Not a Warm Scalpel.”

Rotti looks in the mirror at his sickly form. He knows he is dying. The first scene, as the movie is currently cut, had already happened, earlier in the day.

He puts on his wig and covers up his skin with makeup. Just then, Amber, his spoiled daughter, storms in.


She demands new plastic surgery, as she is known to do. He reluctantly agrees to pay, and she leaves.

Rotti then begins to think. When he dies, his multi-billion dollar empire will be left to one of his degenerate children.

He begins to sings “Gold,” detailing his rags-to-riches story, and his attitude about his children:

As for heirs, got nightmares.

He explains the story of Marni, the one who got away. The music gets darker- he is furious at Marni and Nathan Wallace for marrying.

This brings him to Shilo, their daughter. He decides she will be his heir- if she earns it.

As he signs his will, leaving Shilo his fortune, he begins to plot…

The rest of the movie is Rotti’s plan, as imagined by him in an ideal world. 


Fanboy protest:

“If the entire movie was Rotti’s plan for Shilo to become his heir, why did she turn down GeneCo in the end?”

  • A: Rotti didn’t really care if Shilo got the money. He was more amused, and intrigued by, the aspect of “testing” her, which would cause her to disobey Nathan, kill him, and learn of his lies. His concern was not her welfare, but the possibility of her betraying her father by killing him and taking over the very company that forcibly employed him.


  • Rotti needed to prepare for the worst, so he played out the scenario that Shilo refused to kill Nathan. In this scenario, Nathan dies, anyway, which was the main goal of the scheme.


  • In essence, he was toying with the idea of a new heir. He assumed Shilo would be blinded by greed, but was not convinced. It was not important to him that Shilo gets the money, but he did not want to die without the chance one of his children will not be the heir. He wanted to die knowing Nathan’s name will be tarnished, his lies will be revealed to his daughter, and, finally, he will be killed as revenge for taking Marni from Rotti. Shilo was a toy, and a puppet, and if she got the money, Rotti knew she would come to respect him more than her father, which was additionally pleasing, but, in the end, it was minor. Either way, he could not be buried with his gold, so it no longer had worth to him.



  • Doesn’t it seem like the entire thing happened way too easily? Rotti died at the precisely appropriate moment, Nathan died without a hitch, no one in the opera audience stopped them, or called the police, etc.
  • The Largo children are complete characatures, because Rotti, who detests them, is portraying them in his head.
  • Why would Shilo, who was never tempted to leave the indoors for her entire life, suddenly decide to do so that day? Because it was how Rotti would need it to happen.
  • This explains anomalies in the plot, scenes, and in terms of the 24 hour period- why is it always dark? Because a dying old man is imagining the entire thing. He is too busy with the outcome than menial details.
  • Is Rotti shown to be anything but macho, and all powerful? Even in death, he is getting exactly what he wants.


PART TWO OF A SERIES! Please comment with your thoughts.


About malkatz

I'm an aspiring comedy writer living in New Jersey. Please hire me.

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  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Part 2: Four Crazy Fan Theories (That I Just Made Up) | The Katz Meow --

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