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What it is/What I saw: In Which I Invent a Teen Drama

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WHAT IT IS: An ad for Vera Wang’s new scent, Preppy Princess.

WHAT I SAW: A promo for a new teen drama.

Check it out.

And yes, the second I saw this in my Seventeen magazine, I had a title and a backstory for each of the characters.

The show? Private School Confessions. 

And here are the cast of characters. (Open this link or the picture below in a new tab or window to avoid having to scroll up/down to read.)

ROW ONE, L-R.

Travis- In middle school, he was an aspiring artist. However, a summer spent in Australia gave him a love of surfing and volleyball. Now he is a star soccer player, much to the disdain of his mother, a former sculptor and retired art professor. He is the former step brother of Viv, and was best friends with Kaylie during their childhoods. Slowly but surely, he is coming into his bisexuality, and is terrified by his ever-increasing feelings for Blake.

Kaylie-  Pageant queen and two-time Student Council President, Kaylie is as beautiful and popular as she is naive. She is yet to realize that her mysterious but loving father is a mobster… or that his right-hand man lusts after her. Only a sophomore, she has an on and off (but mostly on) one-sided flirtation with Kevin, her lab partner in Advanced Chemistry who believes she is too young.

Kevin- A sweet, well-mannered, relatively clean cut boy, Kevin’s turmoil has nothing to do with himself. His mother, Gabrielle, is a severe and unmedicated schizophrenic. Additionally, she is now struggling with trauma from a car accident, in which she drunkenly killed a toddler, and a case of Empty Nest Syndrome. Kevin’s father, billionaire James George Duncan IV, has recently come out of the woodwork after over a decade of silence. He has been writing Kevin (real name: James Kevin Duncan V) letters at school, desperate to reunite with him. Little does Kevin know his father’s intentions are more sinister than expected.  On top of everything else, his younger sister, Sophie (unpictured,) just started her first semester attending Goldwell High, and is quickly finding her way into the wrong crowd.

Jess- The daughter of a pilot and a supermodel, Jess has her parents convinced their only daughter is a cultured, religious young woman with ambition- rather than the school slut who has been known to trade favors for European diet pills. Outgoing and bubbly, Jess is friends with anyone she deems worthy. She is self-deprecating and openly laughs about her copious sexual conquests. But will a pregnancy scare, and the true affections of Joshua, a geeky younger student, change her ways?

ROW 2, L-R.

Viv- The former stepsister of Travis, his love for art rubbed off on her. She is often seen posing nude for erotic self-portraits and full-frontal photospreads, or photographing for her Tumblr. However, she finds most of her inspiration in Blake, her muse-turned-lover-turned partner in crime.

Blake– The chip on Blake’s shoulder is that his upper middle class family could not afford to put him through Goldwell High if it weren’t for his soccer scholarship. He made a name for himself despite his insecurity by becoming a soccer celebrity and drug dealer. Although sometimes assisted by Viv, he dislikes anybody trying to find their way into his drug business, and uses men and women alike for sexual gratification, including his teammate and sometimes customer Travis, for whom he secretly has a soft spot.

Ladies and gentleman, Private School Confessions:

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Haiku Reviews: Sex and the City 2

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This is a new feature I’m doing… and, yes, I really did just watch this movie for the first time.

 

 

Sex and the City/

Without sex- or the city/

Who approved this shit?!

Things Stuck in My Brain Lately… Pt. 2

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I wanted to make a shirt, here is the basic concept (it’s just a rough.)

 

Thoughts? Would you want me to make the concept into a shirt? How would you want me to polish it (fake Powerpoint in the background, certain type of font?)

Proof Fictional Characters can have Facebook Fails, Too

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I made these images for this Cracked contest. I’m psyched to say that one of my entries placed onto the Winners’ page (number nine!) I’m pretty excited about this… as my online buddies know, I’ve had a creative drought lately, so it’s nice to know, out of 200+ entries, mine was on the top ten!

PS: How typical is it that the entries that place are always my first or last submissions? In this case, the last.

Let me know which ones you like, or what you would have done, in the comments section!

(Click thumbnail for full image)

When Abbreviations Go Horribly, Horribly Wrong

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Really, Verizon? Really?

(Taken with my cell phone. Click thumbnail for full view.)

Edit: Vote for this fail on FailBlog!

Vote for this fail on FailBlog!

Reality Shows I’d Like to See

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These were made for Cracked’s Photoshop contest last week. I wasn’t all that inspired by the subject, but I did manage to make a few entries.

Stick Figures: The Other Side of Song Lyrics

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Click any thumbnail for a larger image.

More to come?

I’m thinking of starting a feature called Stick Figure Sunday- what do you think?